Croc Gloves have Been Invented And We’re Pretty Sure This Means The Apocalypse Is Near
When it comes to clothing and accessories, what’s your style? Do you want to be on the cutting edge of fashion, with everyone on the street turning their heads as you walk by, wondering who you are and how cool you must be based solely on what you’re wearing? Or do you not care in the slightest about what you look like to strangers, and comfort is the ultimate goal of anything you put on your body?
Ideally, it would be a combination of the two. While looking amazing feels great, you don’t want to have your feet bleed every time you put on a pair of shoes (no matter how cute they may make you look). And on the flip side, while it would be amazing to walk around public wearing nothing (and we mean nothing) but a Snuggie, we have to imagine you’d be turned away from some establishments. That said, there’s a new clothing invention that look like it’s neither, yet it still was somehow brought into this world…
You know ’em and if you love ’em, we won’t judge you, but the rest of society certainly will.
These may be the most comfortable shoes of all time. And we say “may be” because we’re not sure, as we’ve never (and will never) try them.
Sorry if you’re a fan and are rocking some right now, but these things are horrendous. You should only wear these if a doctor says there’s no other way, and even then, you may want to consider getting a second and 22nd opinion on the matter.
Now, we’re gonna talk about gloves for a second. Why? Well… that will sadly become apparent in just a moment.
When it comes to gloves, there are a number of reasons to get them. Do you want to be practical or stylish?
Gloves can help protect you from the cold, cuts, callouses and a number of other hazards, and they can even help improve your grip. There’s almost no way you can mess up when making a pair of gloves, unless…
Yup, they did it. Some maniac finally went and did it. To paraphrase Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park, “They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they never stopped to think if they should.”
This isn’t a Photshop. It isn’t some April Fool’s prank. This is real life we’re witnessing here.
Some guy saw those atrocious plastic monstrosities and thought to himself, “Okay, but what if instead of hiding on my feet, they were in full view constantly on my hands?”
So what’s the deal with these Croc gloves? They were created by Matt Benedetto using a 3D printer.
In case you’re wondering, yes, even he knows how monstrous they truly are, saying, “I made some Croc gloves. They [are] hideous and I kind of love them.”
Well, this is the type of invention only a parent could love. Even Croc the company is having no part in this, as it was strictly a DIY project from Benedetto.
He posted several pictures to the Unnecessary Inventions Instagram page (because what better place is there for something like these)?
In fact, it turns out that he runs that page, and this is what he does in his fair time.
Well, if his goal is to create things that are utterly pointless, then this is unquestionably his masterpiece. It has the internet scratching their heads, which is something that it looks like you wouldn’t be able to do if you were wearing these.
Seriously, what are these things even good for? As gloves, can they do the bare minimum and keep you warm?
Well, considering how they’re made of plastic, it seems like it would actually make your hands even more chilly.
Not to mention the fact that there are a bunch of holes in it, so that’s also a “no.” Are these summertime gloves? That’s not even a thing, and no one was clamoring for it to be, yet here we are.
How And Why They Were Made
What does the inventor have to say in terms of the practicality of this pointless endeavor?
He said, “Your dad’s favorite shoes are now available for your hands. The first ever pair of Crocs Gloves feature all the best things from the shoes, including that thick foam material and safety strap. Start getting all your household chores done in style.”
He even posted a YouTube video detailing the making of this product, in case you are morbidly curious.
Yes, this is exactly what you needed when doing such chores as watering your plants.
Large, cumbersome gloves that restrict your movement, ability to fully close your hands and grip objects. This is the perfect Father’s Day gift.
Especially for the dads that you have a strained relationship with and want to send them a passive-aggressive message. Also, they only come in blue. Say what you will about actual Crocs, but at least there’s a variety of colors to choose from.
“Hello there, sir. Do you happen to know why I decided to pull you over today?”
“No sir, officer. I was going five under the speed limit, I made a complete stop at the sign and all my lights are in order.”
“Well… it’s those gloves. Listen, I know there’s nothing illegal about having terrible fashion taste, but this is at a whole other level. Those gloves are so wretched you actually pose a physical danger to other drivers with how distracting they are.”
So how did Matt’s followers feel about his most unnecessary invention yet? Shockingly, many were supportive.
Yes. It’s immensely weird that you’re interested in them. That might actually be a warning signal of some kind and you should see a medical professional to help diagnose whatever is clearly wrong with your brain.
Naturally (and thankfully), not all of the responses were so positive, which helped restore a modicum of our faith in humanity for now.
One user chimed in with, “This shouldn’t be existing. Even the feet crocs are disgusted by this abomination.”
We know this isn’t church, but to that we say, “Amen.” Another user concurred, saying, “How do you even close your hands with these?” That’s actually a very good question, which is never answered.
Making A Fist
The design on these and the fact that anyone would actually think they’re a good idea is enough to make you want to ball your fist and shake it at the sky.
Unfortunately, if you’re wearing a pair of these (against your will, we would assume), you won’t be able to do that.
Maybe these would be useful if you have kids that keep fighting and want to make sure they can’t make a proper fist to punch each other.
Also, can we take a quick moment and talk about the strap on these things?
On an invention that’s completely pointless to begin with, it’s quite impressive that these are far and away the most pointless feature on them.
Exactly what are they supposed to be used for? They’re great for getting snagged on items and posing harm to yourself while going about your day. Let’s say you’re in a tool shed, reaching for an item, and this grabs another tool and it falls on your foot. Hopefully you’re wearing something stronger than a Croc to protect your toes in that scenario.
Posing For The Picture
The thing we love the most about this invention is all the time and care that went into posing for these images.
Here we see Matt The Inventor showing off his Croc gloves while trying to look contemplative and sophisticated scrolling through his phone.
What do you think he’s looking at? Likely an email from someone telling him that no, they are not interested in investing in these. Shark Tank wouldn’t even let these get onto the show, my dude.
More Where These Came From
For now, Croc isn’t officially endorsing these, so you won’t be seeing them in the store any time soon.
But if you get a kick out our pointless products, be sure to check out Matt’s Unnecessary Inventions Instagram page.
Be warned, though. There’s all sorts of stuff on there that will make your head hurt. If only he could invent Crocs for your brain. That squishy, breathable foam is just what our most vital organ needs to be protected.