Revenge is a dish best served over a memo to the entire office. More
Working with other people sucks sometimes. And it sucks even more when you have to work with jerks. Sometimes it seems like there’s nothing you can do. You just have to suffer through it from 9 to 5, five days a week… no big deal… just a HUGE chunk of your life. And there’s really nothing you can do about it. Unless you get revenge.
Sweet, sweet, yummy revenge.
People on Reddit shared the most epic way they got revenge on crappy coworkers or sucky customers. And honestly, these people are all of us.
Revenge is a dish best served over a memo to the entire office.
Jim Knight, a head chef, was fired from a pub named The Plough in Oxfordshire, UK. He had requested a weekend off and Christmas Day leave. When the company refused, he was upset. According to Knight, the company fired him while all he wanted was to just fulfill his duties as the father to his 7-month-old. Knight planned his epic workplace revenge through the company’s Twitter account, which he already had access to, and started shaming his company.
His first tweet was: “We’d like to inform you that we’ve just fired our head chef.” Then he went on posting and dropped a second tweet: “Unfortunately he wanted to have a weekend off this month and Christmas Day this year for family commitments so we thought we’d sack him.”
Knight didn’t stop there and dropped one more tweet, “We don’t care that he has a 7 1/2 month old baby daughter.”
Even when the tweets were posted from the company’s official Twitter account, no one cared about deleting them for almost a day. After all the drama, Knight announced from his own Twitter account that he got a better job offer.
“Coworker at the local shop is a consistent jackass…
So one day, a different co-worker of mine comes into the shop with a cardboard box in their hands and a gigantic grin on their face. Long story short they have purchased two pounds… of glitter…
Fast forward to lunch time. Said jackass coworker goes out to their car for a smoke… What happened next I can only describe as a literally screaming snow globe. The howling that came out of that car, as all of the glitter came shooting out of the dashboard air vents, were filled with surprise, panic, denial and eventually anger. For about 3 seconds the front windshield of their car looked very similar to the effect of stirring metallic paint, only vertical and multicolored.” – Reddit user NuncErgoFacite.
The moral of the story? Don’t be a jerk because there will be lifelong consequences. Seriously, you can never get glitter out no matter how hard you try.
“Used to work at a Starbucks. Douche bag cop came through the drive-thru all the time at 5 am, drove straight past the speaker, knocked on the window, and put his cash on the sill without any intention to talk to me. I would open the window, he’d have his hand out and then drive off. Gave that f**ker decaf for 5 months.” – Reddit user roll10deep.
There’s no greater revenge than giving someone decaf. That’s just borderline wicked!
“My wife used to keep these little Godiva chocolates that she likes in her desk at work, but started noticing some of them missing and figured it must be someone from the overnight cleaning staff taking them. Fed up with losing her not-inexpensive treats, she decided to get revenge on the choco-thief in question by replacing the good chocolate with little squares of chocolate laxatives that look just like real candies. The next morning she saw several of the laxatives gone, and then from that day forward, she was never missing another one of her good chocolates ever again.” – Reddit user VictorBlimpmuscle.
She really put the “Go” in “Godiva!”
“I used to deliver pizza for Dominoes. It was my last shift and there was this house that was always rude… I got to their house and they gave me a check for 1 cent less that what the total was. I said ‘I am going to need the extra penny’.’ They grumbled off and took their time hoping I would give up but I just sat there holding the pizza. They finally came back all pissed off and gave me the penny. Note that they had no intention of tipping. They gave me the penny and I chucked it out into the street and left. They saw me do it. It was SATISFYING.” – Reddit user Whosyabobby.
Funny enough, that’s also how an adults-on flick starts out…
“I was at a Vons in San Diego, walking toward the only open check stand with a single bottle of soda in my hand. Suddenly this hoity toity lady with a cart stacked to the top flew out of one of the aisles like a freight train and cut me off. ‘I’m in a hurry,’ she said, then looked away like she was annoyed that I’d been born.
I looked at the cashier. He rolled his eyes and got to work. Five minutes later she’s walking out the door and it’s my turn.
“‘You’re good,’ says the cashier. ‘I put your soda on her tag.’” – Reddit user Irishzombieman.
Sounds like that free soda was well worth the wait!
Sometimes, the best revenge is in small, random things. Like sound pollution, but weirder.
“I have hidden a tiny speaker in an adjacent cubicle wall that emits a soft cat meow every 2 hours.” – Reddit user whistledick.
This is either relaxing or malicious. Or it’s a little bit of both. Honestly, it’s probably both. Meanwhile, his cubicle neighbour is wondering whether he’s going completely mad and wasting company time trying to figure out where the meowing is coming from. Not to mention looking dumb if his boss wanders by his desk and hears a meow. Try explaining that, Glen.
“This is only to my bosses, but when I know I’m due for a raise/promotion and they tell me they don’t have budget/I need to wait a while, I start wearing suits to work. Not everyday, but maybe once a week, maybe twice, skip a few, repeat.
Looks like you’re going to interviews during lunch or after work.” – Reddit user tinker_dinker.
Don’t dress for the job you have. Dress for the better (nonexistent) job you want your bosses to think you’re about to snag. And watch them sweat.
“I installed ‘cloud to [bottom]’ on my coworker’s pc.
It’s a Chrome addon that changes all instances of the word ‘cloud’ being displayed to ‘butt.’
He didn’t notice for months. Last week he finally asked me what that customer could possibly mean by ‘uploading files to my [bottom].’” – Reddit user verenelle.
What do you mean people don’t store things in their [bottom]???
This is epic on so many levels and it’s even better because it took so long for the coworker to figure out there was something shady going on.
“I used to mess with a former co-worker that was always rude to me. She had an earlier shift than I did, so after she would leave for the evening I would go to her desk and rearrange her pen cup so that the moment a pen was taken out the whole thing would fall over. I did this every night for about 2 weeks or so before she gave up and stopped using the pen cup but not before she threw the whole thing across her work area in a fit of rage.” – Reddit user Tenaciousdaphne.
And what a glorious fit of rage it must have been! It’s like the ending of Office Space but on a micro level!
“One time, in a fairly isolated booth in the corner of the restaurant, I had this couple who seemed nice right up until I spoke to them. You know the type, where they find something to complain about no matter what’s actually happening.
They told me…that they didn’t get the right meals…[T]hey have a record of coming in and trying to get free meals…
My manager recognized them and wouldn’t give them their meals free, so they were unpleasant with me when I brought them their bill…
I smiled, apologized for any disappointment with their experience, and thanked them for coming in. I set the bill down ever-so-gently on the table and walked quietly away to give them time to decide on payment. I also farted.”
I’d been having horrible gas that day, so it wasn’t precisely on purpose, but I can’t say it wasn’t intentional.” – Reddit user Harmonie.
Was the fart at least free of charge?
“I worked at a 50k+ tech company. I worked with a PM, Maggie, who mis-read my email and got her dates messed up. She scheduled a meeting for Thursday instead of Friday. When I told her she scheduled on the wrong day, she got mad at me, and emailed all my managers up to my vice president (4 levels of management) to say how much of a trouble maker I was … It was her own fault for not being able to read…
I quit and move on to a better company. I get an email saying that Maggie is applying to my new company and said I could provide a positive reference for her.
I email the recruiter and blast all my 6 years of shit on her and block her from getting hired.” – Reddit user couper.
Read it and weep, Maggie! Read it and weep…
“I currently work as a barista at Starbucks… One thing I really dislike though is when a group of young junior high kids will come in and order what feels like a million Frappuccinos. So my buddy who frequents Reddit sent me this post about a guy who puts the name sticker for the order over the Starbucks logo in order to ruin their Snapchat and Instagram pictures. Last shift I tried it out for myself… The look on this one kids face when they saw their drink, knew they couldn’t take a good photo of it, but also knew that the only real problem was the sticker placement? Priceless.” – Reddit user CANTSTOPYODELING.
Hell for millennials is a room full of Starbucks cups but no way to ‘gram ’em.
“I was a conductor on a train, and this snooty girl gets on the train. She tells me she doesn’t pay. I ask her why and she tells me she has a pass, rather than just showing the pass and avoiding a rude interaction. She asks where the outlets are so she can plug in her laptop. When I show her, there was a man already sitting at that seat. She tells the man to move, which he does much to my surprise. He also had luggage with him that he had to relocate.
She seemed pretty satisfied with herself. I couldn’t believe how arrogant and rude she was. So I opened up the breaker panel and shut off the breaker for the outlets. She kept her laptop plugged in the rest of the trip and never noticed that it wasn’t charging.” – Reddit user luhzon89.
Jokes on you! She was at 100% this whole time!
In one company, a former employee, Paul Bentley, was under investigation by the workplace for apparently tampering with its calendar. Bentley’s response? He decided to do a walk-through of the company’s premises and spread peanuts all over the place. Seems odd. Why is this such a big problem? It turns out that the company, Pork Farms Factory, stakes its reputation on being a nut-free company by customer request.
Bentley’s actions cost the company over $1 million in lost production, not to mention the hit their reputation took. It’s safe to assume that he no longer works there.